The title is a play on the movie and my daugter, because of a silly question she asked (perceptive wee whelp that she is): "Why can't we turn now Daddy?".
In the US, when you are driving on the right hand side of the road and you come to a red light and want to turn right and the roadway is clear, you can make the turn (provided you come to a complete stop). The "right turn on red" rule. This is a great traffic rule that keeps the traffic flowing (think of orbiting a city block looking for a parking space but not having to wait for traffic lights.
HOWEVER, in NZ you are of course driving on the left hand side of the road and you come to a red traffic light and you want to turn left, you need to stop AND yield to any right turning traffic coming the other way. The "yield to your drivers door" rule.
So play that scenario out in your mind: in the US, the road rules facilitate MOVING, the NZ rules facilitate STOPPING. I think this is a subtle but unknown driver in the NZ road rage and cruddy driving compared to the US or as Jack Yan pointed out the Jerries!
One of the things that those who know me, know altogether too well is that I love coffee. Not that processed bland, McCoffee you get at Starbucks, but real coffee. One of the big differences between NZ and the US is each’s implementation of the espresso or coffee culture. I think this is another example of the classic differences between the two countries.
In NZ, coffee culture is the new bar culture. People go to interact with other people, they write, listen, drink, eat, hang out and generally look for high dollar or premium brands: boutique coffee brands, great atmosphere, exotic shapes built out of espresso foam and milk …
In the US, coffee culture is about drive through Starbucks coffee joints with $5 lattes that might as well have come out of a machine. There is no art, there are no real baristas, there is very much a franchise, a commodity, and a huge market.
Now personnally, I like the NZ approach. The only few places I’ve found like that in Washington, DC are Murky Coffee and Mayorga. Both of these joints have free wireless (I’m in Murky Coffee right now!), great atmospheres, fantastic coffee, and great music. But even at those joints in the US, people aren’t really interacting, sure they are working … many of them on their cute Apple laptops, but unlike NZ they are sitting alone, working!
Now most Americans sure are obsessed with work, the constant struggle to work hard, to get ahead, to become independently wealthy, to get a bigger, better car than the Joneses. I think the NZ ethic of working hard to play hard, leads to a much more interactive coffee culture, what do you think?
Ok, so starting off on my “ample sufficiency” train of thought here: one of the fundamental differences between the US and NZ is napkins (or serviettes as they are known in NZ). Yes, the humble napkin.
When I first arrived in the States from New Zealand, I’d often go to a restaurant or fast food joint to get something to eat. I’d decide, order, wait, pick-up, get a serviette, then go to sit down. I’d place the napkin in my lap or somewhere handy to stop any messes, then wipe my hands when I was done. That was just how I rolled …
Now it occurred to me (after a while) that I was the only one getting just one napkin! What could all those other napkins be for? How messy were these people? And more importantly, when did I become one of them. You see, I have become the many napkin getting tree thief. I OFten grab a whole wad of napkins (many tims to take a bunch back to my desk for sundry clean up tasks) but several napkins none the less.
I think this is a classic example of two American challenges: a society of plenty and the average American’s germaphobia. On the first point, in America things like napkins are “in the cracks”. They are veritably free, ubiquitous, and easy to dispose of. What do you think would happen if each napkin had “You just cut down a tree to make this napkin” on it? Maybe that’d make people stop and think. On the second point, the link above says it much better than me: the average American is desperately trying to by an antibiotic, germicidal soap, toothpaste, toilet seat, shirt, keyboard, etc… It seems a little crazy to me!
So this is one of those funny little things that hits you when you head back to the US. In Dunedin, New Zealand (my home town) there was a major street realignment when I was just a wee boy. They changed two streets into one-way streets (the first of their kind of any substance in Dunedin). They have henceforth been known as “the one way”. Now just stop for a minute … “The One Way”? Imagine calling something in the US “The One Way”! Anyway the sheer absurdity of it made me smile just last week.
So to kick off my series on NZ versus the USA in terms of living, working, and bringing up a family I thought I better explain a little cultural basis. One of my mother’s favorite phrases is “ample sufficiency”. To use it in a sentence: “No, I’d rather not have another chicken wing, I’ve had ample sufficiency”. It wasn’t until I was back in NZ this time that I realized exactly what this really meant, how it flowed out into the greater vision of the NZ state f being, and how starkly different it was to the US perspective on things. Now excuse me while I digress into generalizations …
In NZ, most of the people I know are aiming at “ample sufficiency”. They want enough money, a interesting enough job, something close enough to family to be happy. They don’t need the best car in the neighbourhood, they don’t need the largest house in the city, they don’t need many of the things, the average American family takes for granted. Do they want them? Oh yes, they’d all love nice cars, big houses, something better than the neighbours, but they are less prepared to sacrifice life, love, and family to get these things.
The average American family wants it all, they want the biggest house, the newest car, they must be better than the neighbours. If they all go to private school, darn it all we’ll go to a better private school. The ideal here in the US is: independantly wealthy, living the high life, with multiple houses, a few luxury european sports cars in the garage, and vacations around the world every year.
So for the rest of this wee series I want to explore what my personal po-dunk half-arsed personal socio-psychological theories tell us about the two countries, why this is so, and what I think might change it all for the better.
Things have been crazy back in DC. Work was a gently boiling kettle when I left and appears to have blossomed into a full blown pressure cooker. There has been a big ice storm (no pun intended) in DC with up to 5-10mm of ice covering
everything (including the 25-60mm of snow). Whoops sorry stayed metric for a sentence there!
We miss New Zealand and nana’s house. But it has been very interesting having the kids adjust this time. Hunter is much more emotionally evolved than Kylie was, and now he knows that if he wakes up screaming that he wants to go back to nana’s we’ll molly coddle him and try to make him feel better. I’m pretty sure it’s a ploy to make us spend more night time with him!
The kids do miss NZ though, as we all would, they got to do almost everything and anything they wanted. One of my favorite lines … sobbing into his pillow was Hunter saying “I want to go back to New Zealand, because America doesn’t have a beach …”
Wow, seems like only yesterday we were flying over to NZ for my sisters wedding. Now we are slowly packing up, cleaning the house, crossing off things on Nana’s “honey do” list and generally getting ready to go. Dunedin has showed us fine weather up until today, where we hit the traditional 11degC/50degF rainy Dunedin day. This is the weather I remember and quite appropriate for the final day here in New Zealand’s mainland.
Tomorrow it’s off to Auckland at 10am, we lay over for 8 hours in Auckland and Sharine’s friend May will visit with her new wee baby (Elaine). Then on the big plane back to SFO. It has been quite the whirlwind tour but we have loved every minute of it.
I have a whole nest of story ideas on my way back, I’m going to start a blog post series on “What’s Wrong with NZ” and “What’s Wrong with the US” as a point/counterpoint on what an expat Kiwi thinks about the differences between the two countries. With any luck, some rich billionaire will read it, think its a great plan, buy my an island nation and set me up as ruler of my own kingdom … hah!
We’ll miss Nana and Great Poppa a lot back in the States … and I’m not really looking forward to having to get back into the groove of work and life in the snow and ice of a Washington winter. Well, see you all soon, back in the US of A …
One of the other things I notice in NZ versus Rockville is washing lines … Sharine & I just returned from our 3 day mini-vacation within a vacation up through the Mackenzie Country in the middle of the South Island. It was fantastic but it occurred to me, almost every house has a washing line, whereas in the States, almost no one has a washing line! Photos from the deep heartland visit including Mount Cook, the turquiose waters of Lake Tekapo and Pukaki, and the fantastic Southern Alps will be uploaded as soon as possible.
I’ve been having strong reactions to many things across my New Zealand vacation. I can’t really verbalize them .. but I’m going to throw out a list and see where it takes me …
- Emissions - Last time we were in NZ it was obvious that for a clean green country, we are not curbing emissions in any way, the average age of a car in NZ is probably double or triple what it is in DC. There are many more old diesels … stinky. There are also many more people burning wood fires
- Weather - things are whacky down here in NZ the same as in the US. Summer is cooler, winter was hotter and cooler all at once, the weather is very different
- Heat pumps - when I left NZ 8 years ago no one had heat pumps. No its a little too cold, a little too hot, and almost every house has one (your you yanks, its kind of an electric powered air conditioner/heater)
- Small - everything is closer … 7 miles into town from the farthest suburb, minutes across town to everywhere
- Road rage - people are angrier, there are more cars on the road than ever before, and NZers are not patient drivers. Our roads have not kept pace with the growth rate of automobiles
- Food - gosh I love the taste of food cooked in/covered in/made with NZ butter and milk.
The last one is a doozy, I haven’t stopped eating since I got here … must have put on pounds (kilos) already!
So after a quiet day or two, Sharine & I are planning a trip up to Christchurch, hoping to stay with my old dive buddy Wayne, shop a little and head over to Mount Cook and Lake Tekapo for a night staying at a “homestay” or bed and breakfast place. We’ll be leaving the kids with nana and great poppa so it’ll be nice to really get away!
Big drama after the wedding from the place that Jan & Doug held the reception: they were very particular about who could go where and we had several issues (mostly minor) regarding how they served the wine and the lack of access for elderly wedding guests. However, they just rang Jan, yelled at her, then rang nana and complained at her as well. Accusing Jan of not paying the bill, Jan has every intention of paying, she just wanted to air some of her complaints. Very unprofessional behavior from Stoneridge Estate.
You see I think that's a good idea. Right now in Rockville (where I live in the US) the City... read more
on Napkins